Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Infamous "Bulk Text"

So, I know this can be a rather trivial subject to most people, and it to me most of the time-- but there is a small piece to the subject that can tend to get under my skin and even hurt me personally. Let me see if I can articulate it well enough to make sense! Here we go...

We all can usually tell when someone send us a "bulk text" meaning the person who sent it to you also sent it to many other recipients. Most of the time we receive them during the holidays that simply read, "Merry Christmas". Sometimes you receive them randomly, out of the blue, from one of your contacts that is having an awfully long, boring day that simply asks, "what's up?". Now, just to make it clear, I am not speaking about these types of texts. A lot of those texts go unanswered, and that's okay because most of the time people aren't expecting an answer back. The texts that I am addressing in this post are the bulk texts to many people that legitimately need answering back.

About four years ago I was moving from one house to another in the same city. I didn't have much help from family, because I am lacking in numbers in the category here, where I live. I also did not have a truck, but only my small SUV which can hold a considerable amount but not much in the way of furniture. I needed some assistance getting my bed, desk, dresser and random other things to my new house. So, I decided to send out a bulk text to all of my friends in the valley to see if anyone was willing and able to help. I sent the same text to about 30 people that read something like, "Hello friends! I am moving to a new place out on Tammany and I need some help getting a few loads over there because my car isn't big enough to haul everything. Is anyone available to help? Thanks!". I figured I would get a reasonable amount of responses since I sent it to so many people.... Guess how many people responded back? TWO. Now, let me state that again, TWO people RESPONDED back. Not two people said they were willing to help, while to other people texted back and said they weren't available. No, only TWO people RESPONDED back to the text. Meaning the other 28 didn't. That's a lot of people not to respond back! Now I know it's easy to brush a bulk text off because you think, "hey, if I don't respond she won't notice because I know she sent this to all of her contacts... ya da, ya da, ya da.". But when EVERYONE thinks that same thing it leaves the sender feeling really small and insignificant. I understand if you're at work and can't answer. I understand if you're in class and didn't have your phone on. I understand if you're driving and can't answer right away. I understand if you're busy and can't help. But what I don't understand is not answering back at all. Period. Not only did I not get a response right away from those said 28 people, but I didn't get any other answers at all. Ever. None. And I will let you in on a secret... I wasn't mad at these 28 people-- I was hurt. We live in a culture today that feels the need to offer assistance but is perfectly okay with not following through with the offer. We don't like to be "tied down" to a specific date and time to be somewhere. We should kiss RSVP's goodbye because nobody answers those!
Now, let me state that I am not holding a grudge against those 28 people, it was a long time ago and I have obviously gotten over the issue, I was simply using it as an example. Furthermore, let me also state, that I am guilty of this bad texting etiquette too. I have been one of those many recipients that hasn't answered back to important bulk texts (mainly thinking of you Carrie Jo, if you're reading this!), forgiveness please! I am very sorry. I know how frustrating and hurtful it can be.

The moral of the story is: if your friend send you a text asking a question, asking for help or expressing something of importance, don't just blow it off because you're sure it's a bulk text and your not answering will go unnoticed-- because chances are, it won't. The sender does know exactly who they are sending the message to. It's usually to a small group of really close friends. Lets not just take the back seat with the rest of society where it's okay to blow your friends off when you aren't face to face with them. Or by offer help to a friend but not following through. If you are a close friend to someone, that automatically states that you are willing to help them when asked or at least let them know you aren't available at the moment. It also states that you hold them in a higher esteem than people you don't know or acquaintances, therefore they deserve your answer, even in bulk text form. Be the friend that someone can count on, even if it's just a text saying you'd love to help but you don't have time. An unanswered text can say a lot of hurtful things. A small, simple answer to a text can keep the peace in a relationship.

So, there is my two cents on the matter. Don't take it too seriously or go too in-depth with it, just ponder it and move on (=