Something BIG?

I became a christian in the summer 2005. To me, it seems a lifetime ago, but in reality it wasn't. I remember a conversation with my youth pastor at that time-- I remember telling him that I didn't know what God had in store me in the future but I felt like it was something big. Something important.

For many years I felt it was a calling towards missions. I loved going on missions trips and doing God's work in the mission field. Now that I think back, I was most interested in missions because I didn't fit anywhere. I had no place really in my family, after high school I hardly talked to any of my friends that I grew up with for 13 years, and I didn't possess any particular skill that would get me very far in life. I was lost and was constantly trying to "get to the mission field". I tried many times to get to Bible College so I could learn more about God's word and so I would have more opportunities towards missions. But, try as I might, I never prevailed.

God had other plans for me. In November of 2009 I met the love of my life, Lucas. And by June 2010 we were married! Whew, did that man take my life into full speed! I had much to learn as a new wife... I never realized how lost I really was until I look back to who I was before Lucas. God sent me the answers to my prayers through Lucas. My man isn't interested in money (well, I mean he is, but it's not his goal in life!), he's not interested in being in the CEO of some big corporation, he's not interested in fancy things (except for his guns and knives!), and he wasn't interested in having a modern wife. He didn't want a career woman or a women's rights leader, he was looking for his Help Meet. Little did I know what that was when I first got married!

He informed me that once we started having children that he wanted me to stay home, and then once they old enough he wanted me to home school the children... "Whoa, hold it mister! I'm not qualified for any of this! I wasn't raised to be a house wife, or a stay at home mother!"... It took many hours of talking to Lucas, talking to God, talking to my Mother-in-law to finally see that I didn't have to be qualified or raised to be these things-- these were the things God had intended me to be. He was my teacher and all I needed. Since being married I have learned A LOT! And I have never felt more "right" with myself or "right" with God. I don't feel like I need to be anywhere else. Yes, I do get restless somedays when all the house work is done and all I can think of doing is twiddling my thumbs but these times will pass and we'll have little ones to keep me busy for many, many years!

God thinks very highly of women and has given us a grave responsibilty-- he calls it "building a nation". How powerfully is that? We as women, if we decide to pick up the torch, have one of the most influencial and important jobs in life-- raising children and building a strong home for our family. God gave us this responsibility and too many women have dropped the ball running after selfish ambitions and dreams. Well, I am not going to be one of those women. I have much to learn but with God on my side and Lucas on my other I will succeed as long as I keep in mind what my true job is as a woman. God doesn't want sissy women, he needs strong, courageous women who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the Kingdom. And I can only hope that I grow and learn to be one of those women, and when I go Home I can only pray He will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

So, my idea of "something big" back in 2005 was a bit off of what it is today, but I know that God has me hear and no one else can fill my place. I have a job to do, and even though it's not exactly mission work, I still have a mission. To respect and love my husband, to build up our home to be strong, to bear and raise Godly children, and to "build a nation".

On-Time vs. Time-On

Hello!
So, time literally got away from me! A small update: in June my husband and I moved to a small apartment in the same town and then went on a mission trip to Tijuana,MX-- we built a small house (something like a shed to us) for a family through Amor Ministries. The mission was a success. We came back to a very messy, new apartment but we slowly got it put together! Then soon after that we found out I was pregnant-- unfortunately I had a miscarriage at about nine weeks into the pregnancy =( It was a hard and painful process but we got through it and God is good. There is so much we can't see and understand, we completely trust Him with this situation and joyfully wait to meet our little one someday in the Kingdom.  Then my Father-in-law finished his second homeschool cirriculum, this one on Chemistry (see the101series.com). So, time as truly gotten away from me since the last time I wrote!

On more of a personal note: In mid-August I found out I had a gluten-intolerance! It blew me away at first because I thought I would only be able to eat fruits and veggies the rest of my life, but then soon came to find out that there are tons of gluten-free foods, you just have to know where to look and what to look for! I've had a lot of support and help from friends and family while going cold-turkey off gluten and learning how to rebuild my kitchen's ingredients! Also, I have started a study by Nancy Cambell called The Family Meal Table & Hospitality. It scriptually shows us (women) the importance of the dinner table. It goes into detail about what kind of food we should be serving our families. It is going to take me awhile to finish, it's quite a thorough study, but it will be well worth my time =)

Along with all those big events I mentioned, we've been spending time with friends and family as much as we can. Our work schedules have been off kilter for some time now. We don't usually have even two days of together anymore =( So, it's been hard to have a regular schedule together. Luckily, it will NOT be like this forever. Once I get pregnant again and/or we get all our debt paid off I am planning on leaving the work place and staying home to be a full time wife and mommy! Lord willing, I won't have to wait too terribly long! Oooooh, God has been so good to us. He's always provided for us; we always have food in the refridgerator and cupboards, we have a roof over our heads (and some friends as well! ;P We live in a triplex!). We have clothes, two running (most of the time!) vehicles, a nice bed, running water, blankets, internet, books, and a fish! How awesome is that?! I can't even fathom why He would be so kind to us.. I am definitely not the most disciplined follwer of Christ. Then again, He never said that I had to be the best to recieve blessings. . Blessed are we!

Lately, I've been meditating on a familiar hymn: 'How Deep the Father's Love For Us'. I never liked hymns much--my childhood was rather limited on the times I ever heard them. This hymn has been coming to me while doing daily things: washing the dishes, driving, while I'm at work, checking my e-mail, etc. And most times it makes me stop and ponder our Savior; so quickly I forget everything He has done for me. I forget the huge sacrifice He endured so that I may live in harmony with Him. I forget how amazing it truly was and what He had to go through so that I could be with Him. It's incomparable, really. What an amazing and inconceivable love the Father has and shares with us.

I hope my next entry will be back on track towards my original intention--or maybe it's going to take a turn for a different theme! We'll see!
Thanks for your time!