Oh my, my, my... There are several things I could write about today. Much has happened that there are a few really important topics I could address. The one that is newest on my mind is eating at me the most though.
This can be a very touchy subject for someone in my position... I would like to address the topic of older women and what they talk and tell younger women. Since I haven't been married for a long duration, nor am I an older aged woman, nor am I filled with tons of wisdom, but I do feel I can address just this particular subject...bare with me you older, wiser women-- if I am out of line or off, please correct me!
Titus 2 explains what our role is as wives and mother, "that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2: 3-5). I love this scripture, it's the scripture of my life right now because this is the area of my life I am in. It is something I will continue to learn and build towards until I pass away to be with the Father. I pray I will do my duty as a mother to love my children and teach them ways of God as I should..
So, I just recently was told of an event, an ongoing event in someone's life, an unfortunate, hard, un-Godly event... It something this person has to over come with the help of God. When I talked to his wife I recommended a book to her to read because it addressed this particular topic. Now obviously not everyone is going to agree with everything someone says, I don't even agree with everything in the book, but the book has changed my life tremendously, for the better! It's up lifting and God glorifying! It's challenging. It's a life changing book because it reflects the Word of God. I had given her this book for a wedding gift-- sadly, she informed me that an older woman, whom she trusts completely, discouraged her to not read the book at all... I was crushed, not personally, but for her and her lack of unwillingness; because some woman who didn't agree with something entirely discouraged a young woman from reading something that could have really helped her in this situation. This book was completely dedicated to God and spoke the truth on so many topics, pages and pages of scripture and commentary affirming the Word of God.
I want to encourage any woman, before giving advise and handing over wisdom that you be sure that it is sound and biblical and not personal. Don't discourage young women from read, listening or hearing anything over something personal and petty. I know I am so quick to criticize and give advise on topics often and sometimes wished I had held my tongue. We all have our personal likes and dislikes but we NEED to remember to have grace for one another and think about what we advise someone on-- really question our motives and reasoning and ask ourselves: is this biblical? Is this God's Truth? Am I over critical of people and beliefs? Is this a personal distastefulness or a Godly one?...
We can either uplift, encourage and help one another or we can smother, discourage and lead one another astray. Let's work on thinking before we speak on topics so important to life, marriage and Truth.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
a birthday week
Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband today!
He's at work today but we celebrated on Tuesday night with a big group of friends! So, if you don't know, we live in a tiny one bedroom basement apartment and I think we had 27 people crammed in here!! We loved it!! We ate pizza, salad, veggies, chips, hot wings...and lots of drinks! Thanks everyone for providing the extra food! We had a big stack of pizza boxes outside our door the next morning! It looked like all we ate was pizza!! Lucas and I really had a good time, we don't mind being crunched in a small space with people we love. It was great being able to see everyone and fellowship with other believers (= Oh, and for future parties for all you ladies, I have found the secret to having a nice clean house after a big party with food-- hold the party in a smaller room and/or don't have places for people to set stuff down! Since our apartment is so small and we had so many people packed in here there was no room for people to set down there plates, etc. So, everyone threw their trash away! So, literally we had hardly any clean up from the party! We put some chairs back in place and threw away three cups, that was IT! Since we used all disposable plates and cups all I had was a small sink of silverware to do. It was amazing!
So, we've had a really nice week so far (= There has been one thing on my mind though. I posted a pro-life picture on my Facebook and I had a gal I was acquainted with start a conversation about it. She's a pro-choice-er so it obviously turned more into a debate than a discussion. I was trying to logically explain my view and she was doing the same-- but we would never see eye to eye. I was very disturbed by the conversation for most of the duration of it (it was a conversation that lasted a few days). I couldn't tell if I was disturbed by her exactly or by the lies she had been hearing and telling herself. Since she isn't a believer she is under no obligation to follow scripture or morality, so I wasn't upset with her about that, but I think I was sad for her mainly, not like I pitied her, but genuinely sad for her. Living under the idea that there are no consequences for your actions sounds great to anyone, but after so long living like that guilt creeps up behind you and starts to take you apart piece by piece. Bitterness starts eating you heart away. I think we've all seen this in someone to some degree. The only thing I can do for her is pray, so I've been prayer for her all week. It's amazing how prayer can calm the soul and mind. I pray that when the moment comes when God knocks at the door of her heart that she would answer-- that someone would come into her life that was encouraging and knows the Truth to help start guiding her in a Godly direction. God says to pray for our enemies, I did and he calmed my spirit. The greatest part about the great commission is it's not our job to save people. I used to be under the illusion that it was-- that's God's job. My job is to show people that we all have a fatal disease (sin) and the only way to cure it is through the gospel (Jesus)-- after that my job is done. It's between them and God then.
He's at work today but we celebrated on Tuesday night with a big group of friends! So, if you don't know, we live in a tiny one bedroom basement apartment and I think we had 27 people crammed in here!! We loved it!! We ate pizza, salad, veggies, chips, hot wings...and lots of drinks! Thanks everyone for providing the extra food! We had a big stack of pizza boxes outside our door the next morning! It looked like all we ate was pizza!! Lucas and I really had a good time, we don't mind being crunched in a small space with people we love. It was great being able to see everyone and fellowship with other believers (= Oh, and for future parties for all you ladies, I have found the secret to having a nice clean house after a big party with food-- hold the party in a smaller room and/or don't have places for people to set stuff down! Since our apartment is so small and we had so many people packed in here there was no room for people to set down there plates, etc. So, everyone threw their trash away! So, literally we had hardly any clean up from the party! We put some chairs back in place and threw away three cups, that was IT! Since we used all disposable plates and cups all I had was a small sink of silverware to do. It was amazing!
So, we've had a really nice week so far (= There has been one thing on my mind though. I posted a pro-life picture on my Facebook and I had a gal I was acquainted with start a conversation about it. She's a pro-choice-er so it obviously turned more into a debate than a discussion. I was trying to logically explain my view and she was doing the same-- but we would never see eye to eye. I was very disturbed by the conversation for most of the duration of it (it was a conversation that lasted a few days). I couldn't tell if I was disturbed by her exactly or by the lies she had been hearing and telling herself. Since she isn't a believer she is under no obligation to follow scripture or morality, so I wasn't upset with her about that, but I think I was sad for her mainly, not like I pitied her, but genuinely sad for her. Living under the idea that there are no consequences for your actions sounds great to anyone, but after so long living like that guilt creeps up behind you and starts to take you apart piece by piece. Bitterness starts eating you heart away. I think we've all seen this in someone to some degree. The only thing I can do for her is pray, so I've been prayer for her all week. It's amazing how prayer can calm the soul and mind. I pray that when the moment comes when God knocks at the door of her heart that she would answer-- that someone would come into her life that was encouraging and knows the Truth to help start guiding her in a Godly direction. God says to pray for our enemies, I did and he calmed my spirit. The greatest part about the great commission is it's not our job to save people. I used to be under the illusion that it was-- that's God's job. My job is to show people that we all have a fatal disease (sin) and the only way to cure it is through the gospel (Jesus)-- after that my job is done. It's between them and God then.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
a small political piece-- beware of strong conservative-ism.
I don't know about you, but I am really getting tired of this gun scare-- the federal government is pushing so hard on this one issue, like they always do. They usually end up moving forward a bit but never get as far as they want... Next they'll come after the home-schoolers and families (again). Anyone who doesn't believe they have a socialist agenda is either really dull or simply chooses to look away, either way, it's their responsibility. It's very sad to see the world I grew up in slowly crumble, I know my children will not grow up in the same world and hurts my heart. But we still have so much to look forward to. With this gun push the conservative states are taking a stand simply telling D.C. that we will not follow unconstitutional laws anymore, and the liberal states are handing over their freedoms because they think it will make them more "safe" and make America more "peaceful". Well, it didn't really work for the Jewish people of Germany did it? They complied and then were mass murdered by their leaders... Let's not be so naive America-- people are evil and want power and money, simple as that, and with leaders who have no moral ground or obligation that's what will flourish....evil. So, maybe, just maybe the United States of America will fall, but the continent won't fall apart, maybe we'll have what the South wanted during the Civil War, freedom from a federal government and just a government that governs just the State, then people can pick and choose what laws they want to live by... Interesting thought. Anyways, Lucas and I aren't worried at this point-- we are staying alert and informed but we are not shaking in our boots...we still have a lot of ground to walk on and we definitely live in one of the best states in America! Go Idaho! We will be one of the last states standing! God sees all and is in control, ALWAYS! They can't take our freedoms if we don't give them up! And to end with my husband's favorite saying, "Molon Labe" : Come and take them!
Monday, March 4, 2013
:: random thoughts ::
Ahhh...life is moving quickly, it's hard to keep up sometimes. Malcolm is growing like a weed, he'll be nine months on the 19th! And another little one is in the making...whoops! Spilled the beans =) Yes, I am pregnant! I'm about 6 weeks along and my due date is somewhere in mid-October (I think). It's very exciting. We were hoping to move so we could have some more space, as we are in a one bedroom, basement apartment-- but I don't think that's going to happen right away, we need to stay put for a bit; we just got out of debt and we don't need a rent that's almost twice as much as ours now, that would be very taxing on us again and we just got some wiggle room! God is good, and we still have A LOT to be thankful for in this hobbit hole of ours =) Well, this week on the agenda we have: grocery shopping, cleaning (always!), a potluck dinner with friends, a rehearsal dinner and wedding... those are a few of the big ones. So, I know this post doesn't shout excitement, nor does it have a hidden message, it was just about our daily lives... Hope I didn't bore you too badly! My next one should be better! Have a blessed and joy filled day!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Scrabble
The other evening we were at my in-laws. I was having a conversation with my FIL (father-in-law) at about 10:30 at night. We were talking about bachelor parties and how they usually are fairly lame because guys just can't seem to figure out what to do when no gals are around! At, least that's what FIL said! He made an analogy about it, he said, "it's like playing a game of Scrabble with only vowels, it's hard, lame and ends quickly." I found that interesting... I thought about it for a bit and then mentioned to him that his analogy was quite good! Men are like vowels and women are like consonants! Vowels are crucial to our language, without them our language would cease to exists! Without them we couldn't speak, write, rhyme... We need them! They are our staples in our language... Like men are, without them things don't function! They are our leaders, protectors, bread winners, our rocks. Now women are like the consonants, they give our language uniqueness and flair! They are all very different but compliment each other very well! They are the second most important things in our vocabulary! The consonants is what keeps language moving; like women, women keep things moving, up to speed. And we are very unique and colorful! And together with the vowels we are beautiful! Just a thought... =)
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Catching Up ^^
Hello all! I know it's been forever, life has been moving so fast! Let me update you on our life!
Here is what my days are filled with now: taking care of our eight month old son, cleaning, picking up toys, laundry, dishes...repeat! That's right, we had our first baby on June 19th, 2012 (which was our two year anniversary!). It was such a gift for our anniversary! Malcolm Israel Olson was born at 6:25 am, 7 pounds, 19.5 inches long. We had a lovely home-birth with the assistance of a mid-wife. I wouldn't change anything about it! He was beautiful and perfect, ten fingers, ten toes, and a head full of dark brown hair (it's an ashy blonde now, though!). We thank God daily for our little boy even though he can be quite a handful sometimes! He babbles a lot saying, "dada, mama, baba, gaga...and many other un-typable words!
So, this also means I am a stay-at-home wife and mama! I left my job at Sherwin-Williams in May of last year. I loved the four years I was there, great job, but I love my job now more, and it's far more important! Lucas works as a goldsmith for a local jewelry store here in town and it's a wonderful job for him. He gets to use his trade he went to school for and works with some awesome people. A lot better atmosphere than the pawn shop he worked at previously!
So, let's see if I can stay up to date better with this...cross your fingers!
Here is what my days are filled with now: taking care of our eight month old son, cleaning, picking up toys, laundry, dishes...repeat! That's right, we had our first baby on June 19th, 2012 (which was our two year anniversary!). It was such a gift for our anniversary! Malcolm Israel Olson was born at 6:25 am, 7 pounds, 19.5 inches long. We had a lovely home-birth with the assistance of a mid-wife. I wouldn't change anything about it! He was beautiful and perfect, ten fingers, ten toes, and a head full of dark brown hair (it's an ashy blonde now, though!). We thank God daily for our little boy even though he can be quite a handful sometimes! He babbles a lot saying, "dada, mama, baba, gaga...and many other un-typable words!
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| Malcolm a few days old! |
So, let's see if I can stay up to date better with this...cross your fingers!
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| Around 3 month old. |
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| He's quiet distracted by the noise I am making! |
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| Having a blast after swimming at Elk Creek Falls. |
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| All ready for bed in his army jumper! |
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| Enjoying his Bumbo. |
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| Time for a walk in the cold winter night. |
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| Out for a picnic with some friends. |
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| Mum time! |
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| Three generations! |
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| [days filled with joy] |
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| Daddy time! |
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| Swing time, he hate his swing! |
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| Dad's solution to keep him on the couch since he is mobile now! |
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| toys & slobber =) |
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| He looks like a Bailey here! |
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Women vs. Men
In this post I want to talk about something that is a bit personal to me. It's also something I've struggled with since I can remember...
My parents divorced when I was three years old (no, this isn't a sob story about my parent being divorced!). My Dad recieved full custody of me and my brother for various reason. I saw my Mom here and there but she definitely wasn't around regularly, nor could I rely on her for anything because she didn't have custody of us... Now let me make this clear before I get into this; I have a good relationship with my Mum now, I had to get over a lot and forgive a lot from things passed.. I have and I love my Mum and do not want to dishonor her in any way, but I do have tell you my feelings when I was younger to get my point across. Now that we have that established that, let me get back to the point... So, my Dad raised me; it was just my Dad, my brother and me for nine years together. Coincidently I ended up feeling more comfortable around boys and men than girls and women. Plus, as I got older I had trust issues with women because of my Mum, I felt she didn't want us and didn't want to be involved in our lives. I felt like she ran away from her reponsibilty... Once I turned 12 my Dad married again, she was our Step Mother for eight years. So, all through my junior high and high school years she was around. We were close in some instances but she already had two kids of her own so she never came too close, if you can understand that. Now the other part of this story is when I became a Christian-- before I was a Christian I had a few very close girlfriends. I did everything with these girls and we went through a lot together. Once I became a Christian (when I was 15) our relationships changed. We still stayed friends but I had different morals then they did and there were certain things I wouldn't do or say. So, my weekends became filled with work instead of spending time with my friends because I didn't party, etc. I'm not trying to sound like a saint or better than them, I'm just explaining that we had different priorities and motives in things. My life was starting to become very lonely.. And once I graduated and moved to Lewiston I didn't hear from anyone back at home. The whole summer after high school I spent my time at work or with my brother. All the girls that had been in my life were gone. I felt very alone and spent my time praying for some real friends.. God answered my prayers by putting me in a church that had a good sized 'college group', but I unfortunetly only answered His gift half way.. I have met some amazing girls that are apart of that college group at my home church but sadly I was so afraid of getting close to girls again, thinking they would all leave, I kept them at an arms length away. I had been hurt by so many fickle women before that I felt that if I didn't get too close then I couldn't get hurt-- but then I just ended up hurting myself because of it. To put the cherry on top of it all, in 2010, right when I was getting married my Dad and Step Mom were going through a divorce. I haven't seen her since my wedding day. I wasn't all that surprised and honestly, not that hurt because parts of my heart are so closed and cold that sometimes they just don't even feel...and let me just say that I am NOT proud of that last statement. It's not a good place to be, I'd rather cry my eyes out for weeks than not feel anything. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not hide it in a lead box, buried under ten feet of dirt, but sadly that's where it's ended up...at least in this area of life.
So, the real point of of this post is not to point fingers at those who have wronged me but to look in the mirror at myself and say to anyone who wants to hear: I am a bad friend. I don't know how to be a good friend, not because of a lack of effort but because of a lack of heart. I hate the fact that I can carry on a conversation with the guys I have in my life for hours and can hardly have a conversation with ANY of the girls I know, including my Mum and sisters-in-law. I hate the fact that the only conversations I have with women at church here in Lewiston or in Kamiah or anywhere else are the generic conversations about what's going on in life and the weather. What I truly want and long for with the gals in my life is deep conversations, phone calls just to say hi, sharing: stories,struggles, heart aches, joys, even conversations about nothing that we can laugh at later! I want to be able to hold a girlfriends hand like sisters do and not feel afraid that she feels awkward or uncomfortable. I want to be able to call a girlfriend up bawling about nothing, just because I'm sad and vice versa! I want to be able to go shopping with a girlfriend and try on ridiculous outfits just because we want to! *Sigh* but I am too afraid to offer any of that because I'm afraid of rejection. And I just don't know how to share my heart... I don't know how to not hold someone at an arms length away. So, for anyone gal who reads this I just want to say I'm sorry. I don't know how to be a friend anymore and I see and understand why you wouldn't want me as a close friend. I pray to God that He can teach me to open up my heart to the women around me and teach me to be a good friend again... Please pray for me.
Yours Truly,
Tessa O.
My parents divorced when I was three years old (no, this isn't a sob story about my parent being divorced!). My Dad recieved full custody of me and my brother for various reason. I saw my Mom here and there but she definitely wasn't around regularly, nor could I rely on her for anything because she didn't have custody of us... Now let me make this clear before I get into this; I have a good relationship with my Mum now, I had to get over a lot and forgive a lot from things passed.. I have and I love my Mum and do not want to dishonor her in any way, but I do have tell you my feelings when I was younger to get my point across. Now that we have that established that, let me get back to the point... So, my Dad raised me; it was just my Dad, my brother and me for nine years together. Coincidently I ended up feeling more comfortable around boys and men than girls and women. Plus, as I got older I had trust issues with women because of my Mum, I felt she didn't want us and didn't want to be involved in our lives. I felt like she ran away from her reponsibilty... Once I turned 12 my Dad married again, she was our Step Mother for eight years. So, all through my junior high and high school years she was around. We were close in some instances but she already had two kids of her own so she never came too close, if you can understand that. Now the other part of this story is when I became a Christian-- before I was a Christian I had a few very close girlfriends. I did everything with these girls and we went through a lot together. Once I became a Christian (when I was 15) our relationships changed. We still stayed friends but I had different morals then they did and there were certain things I wouldn't do or say. So, my weekends became filled with work instead of spending time with my friends because I didn't party, etc. I'm not trying to sound like a saint or better than them, I'm just explaining that we had different priorities and motives in things. My life was starting to become very lonely.. And once I graduated and moved to Lewiston I didn't hear from anyone back at home. The whole summer after high school I spent my time at work or with my brother. All the girls that had been in my life were gone. I felt very alone and spent my time praying for some real friends.. God answered my prayers by putting me in a church that had a good sized 'college group', but I unfortunetly only answered His gift half way.. I have met some amazing girls that are apart of that college group at my home church but sadly I was so afraid of getting close to girls again, thinking they would all leave, I kept them at an arms length away. I had been hurt by so many fickle women before that I felt that if I didn't get too close then I couldn't get hurt-- but then I just ended up hurting myself because of it. To put the cherry on top of it all, in 2010, right when I was getting married my Dad and Step Mom were going through a divorce. I haven't seen her since my wedding day. I wasn't all that surprised and honestly, not that hurt because parts of my heart are so closed and cold that sometimes they just don't even feel...and let me just say that I am NOT proud of that last statement. It's not a good place to be, I'd rather cry my eyes out for weeks than not feel anything. I want to wear my heart on my sleeve and not hide it in a lead box, buried under ten feet of dirt, but sadly that's where it's ended up...at least in this area of life.
So, the real point of of this post is not to point fingers at those who have wronged me but to look in the mirror at myself and say to anyone who wants to hear: I am a bad friend. I don't know how to be a good friend, not because of a lack of effort but because of a lack of heart. I hate the fact that I can carry on a conversation with the guys I have in my life for hours and can hardly have a conversation with ANY of the girls I know, including my Mum and sisters-in-law. I hate the fact that the only conversations I have with women at church here in Lewiston or in Kamiah or anywhere else are the generic conversations about what's going on in life and the weather. What I truly want and long for with the gals in my life is deep conversations, phone calls just to say hi, sharing: stories,struggles, heart aches, joys, even conversations about nothing that we can laugh at later! I want to be able to hold a girlfriends hand like sisters do and not feel afraid that she feels awkward or uncomfortable. I want to be able to call a girlfriend up bawling about nothing, just because I'm sad and vice versa! I want to be able to go shopping with a girlfriend and try on ridiculous outfits just because we want to! *Sigh* but I am too afraid to offer any of that because I'm afraid of rejection. And I just don't know how to share my heart... I don't know how to not hold someone at an arms length away. So, for anyone gal who reads this I just want to say I'm sorry. I don't know how to be a friend anymore and I see and understand why you wouldn't want me as a close friend. I pray to God that He can teach me to open up my heart to the women around me and teach me to be a good friend again... Please pray for me.
Yours Truly,
Tessa O.
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